Horrid

In simple terms I will admit

that I can be a total shit

I’ll gladly steal your parking space

and leave the bathroom a disgrace

wont tip, will steal your secret treats

your cookies, chocolates, bags of sweets

and blame it on the kids no less

and shout at them until they mess

their pants and need some therapy

and no one will suspect it’s me

at work steal credit for your work

and be a bastard, dick and jerk

off thinking of your wife or worse

your sister dressed up as a nurse

and wish disease on you and yours

and puss comes leaking from your pores

while home I sit and read the news

take drugs and smoke and drink cheap booze

and eat endangered meats for tea

koala, whale and chimpanzee

and all the while I smile and nod

on sunday I go pray to God

for he Forgives so I can test

his patience as things I molest

and charities support with time

while I commit white collar crime

and then it’s home in time for tea

I bet you’re all a bit like me