Before I get into this I would make the point that I love my boys very much and would do just about anything for them.
If in doubt understand that I will regularly unclog their toilet – which they seem to prefer to only flush every third or fourth visit – with only minimal shouting and threats. Look closely and you will see that the bonds of love are such that I have been known to tidy their rooms for them and only remind them once or twice that the option of adoption remains on the table until they are 18.
Still to be convinced? My heart overflows with love so abundant that only recently I was witnessed preparing them 3 meals in a single day. That’s true human kindness right there…
That said, there are limits and those limits come in the form of board games. I really do not enjoy one bit sitting down with the family for an evening of board games and frivolity. It takes almost no time at all for me to upset somebody because I refuse to let somebody win because they’re ‘only little’. Play against kids of your own age if that’s how you want to roll but as far as I am concerned you want me to play, I will play to crush you. Ideally I will make you never want to play board games with me ever again.
I know it makes me a terrible person. I will pay for their therapy when they are older. Might also explain why we have a cupboard full of unused board games.
The wife likes to play with the boys when I am away though, which is nice.
And don’t get me started on bloody i-spy. As if driving in this country isn’t hard enough with it’s constant roadworks and sheer weight of traffic…I travel miles and miles having to try and guess the quite ridiculous things my youngest apparently spies.
Get lost Thomas you didn’t spot Batman, T is not for “Tornado” and you can get stuffed if you believe that you saw a clown in the car that went past us 5 miles ago. You’re a liar and your lies make baby Jesus cry!
And don’t go crying to mum when I insist that Psoriasis begins with a P, and you’re no doctor so the dry skin on my elbows could well be something more serious and your diagnosis is worthless because you are only 9.