Leaving the house is not something I look forward to these days. Since the world went completely and utterly mad you never really know what will happen out there. We’re not just talking your regular run of the mill low level straight jacket kind of mad here. This is not even your talking to lamp posts, remaining unbathed and obsessive hoarding level of insanity. This was full on global hysterics and for the most part a complete melt down of rational society and a failure of the majority of global infrastructure and government.
When the rifts opened It took about a week for the major religions to take up arms, and despite the best efforts of those nations less inclined to hacking up one another with machete’s the conflicts escalated and spread. Governments intervened, and obviously that did not end well. Its quite terrifying to see what happens when a planet’s belief system is thrown out of the window. As it turns out it proved rather difficult for the devout to insist that we were alone in the universe when the things coming out of the rift provided evidence to the contrary. They didn’t respond well. No one did really and it wasn’t our finest hour as a species. We should have been embracing our new horizons and looking to skies but instead we were setting fire to one another, stealing flat screen televisions and throwing quite fabulous end of the word parties. Rumour is that there is still one raging in London that has been going on for nearly half a decade.
By the time a semblance or normality returned the world was a very different place. Large swathes of the planet were uninhabitable, the majority of the planet’s population lay dead or dying and for those that remained…well we contend with this reality in the best way we can. Fortunately the British were less affected by the events than most nations. Being an island helped isolate us from the chaos that engulfed the majority of the globe and our reserve and general lack of outward enthusiasm for most things coupled with an aversion to organised religion most certainly helped dampen the hysteria. That isn’t to say we didn’t suffer, we did. We lost nearly 35 million to conflict and starvation and most of the major urban centres lay in ruins afterwards but somehow we survived.
When we eventually dusted ourselves off and sat down with a nice cup of tea to discuss with our visitors what next we were one of just a few nations that were able to do so. They explained that as It turns out they were frightfully sorry about the mess that they had made of things and that the rifts that were opened across the globe were something of an experiment gone wrong and that all they really wanted was to not have met us because we seemed like a pretty awful lot.
We in turn explained that that was rather rude of them and that it really is difficult to maintain law and order and rebuild your country when the contents of the universe is randomly spilling out onto your planet like celestial flotsam and the least they could do would be to accept a degree of responsibility and to help us to clean up the mess. Eventually they agreed and provided technology to stabilise the tears in time and space to prevent them spreading but once done they helped themselves to all of our tea supplies and the majority of our biscuits and went back to wherever they came from without so much as a “have a nice day”.
And that’s why I don’t want to go outside. I have no idea just what will be out there today and the last time I ventured to the council offices it took me a week to get home due to getting caught in a localised time loop. I complained to them about the matter but I am pretty sure that they didn’t care. I know that because the unhelpful woman on the reception desk informed me of that very fact.