LOVE

I would kiss your lips a thousand times

But god, just imagine the chafing

and they’d get really scabby

and you’d get quite crabby

And you’d need lip creams and balm and look awful

___

So I’ll shout your name from the roof tops 

But not late, we have neighbours you know

Though I could likely fall

So perhaps I’ll just call

Out your name from the top bedroom window

___

Hey I could climb the worlds highest mountain

Swim deep oceans to declare our passion

But heights scare me to bits

And cold water is shit

Is there anything else that’s in fashion?

___

Ooh a poem would show my devotion

And some flowers and choccies and wine

But you’re quite fat already

And drink lots, take it steady

And your reading age is not much more than nine

___

Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways

Let me woo, swoon and bask in your beauty

(once you’ve put on your make up)

Then perhaps we can make up

Cos I quite like your tits and round booty