Morew cancer news

update time…

 

So you have cancer. Now what?

That up there is one of the previous posts…

This below is the update 🙂

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So turns out the cancer is progressing faster than they had hoped, and I have to go have treatment. I’d figured I would live with it for years, but turns out not, and I was presented with a number of choices on how to progress. Fortunately, things aren’t bad enough that chemo is on the table, so I have the options of having my prostate removed, a load of external radiotherapy sessions or one session of Brackytherapy .

Ok so they all have their pros and cons – and given my age and relatively decent health (not including the cancer of course) they recommended Brackytherapy. This mostly involves having a load of radioactive seeds inserted into my prostate which then kill pretty much everything (and hopefully dont give me a secondary cancer). Fun eh.

Side effects wise the hope is that beyond exhaustion and perhaps some issues with the waterworks I might bot find it too bad. Its a whole lot better than the thought of having it removed which generally has a long list of possible side effects and all the terrible things that end with ‘ent’ are laid at your doorstep for consideration. Impotent, incontinent, etc etc.

Oh and there was no way I was going to Leeds every day for weeks for external bean therapy. Cant be doing with all that traffic – seems a whole lot worse than cancer to be honest.

Ok so I could still have issues afterwards, nothing is guaranteed, and some of the literature insists that should you struggle peeing afterwards you might want to take a bath or place your penis in a glass of warm water. I don’t like our bath, I always think it will fall through the floor when full, so dipping my cock into warm water it is. I have suggested this to Mrs Afterwards and she thinks I am a dirty bastard and I better not use any of the good glasses.

I think I shall leave it as a lottery and not tell anyone which is the cock glass. Keep them guessing eh!

I will likely need some time off work – few months to recover – and even after I may have to work at home more as there is no bath at work and the thought of getting caught trying to dip my cock into a sink in the office isn’t one I wish to consider. Not sure you can really explain that satisfactorily.

But it has a very high success rate, and I will get to rest lots and catch up on reading and tv so there is a bit of a silver lining.  

The other downside is that I am radioactive for quite some time as I have the radioactive seeds in permanently. I’m not allowed close contact with children or pregnant mothers, which makes me sound like a pervert should I not tell the full story as to why.

I usually play Santa at the rugby club Christmas party but have had to stand down this year for fear of rendering all the local children infertile. As you can Imagine I am quite enjoying telling the story. Oh and I will also set off the radiation alarms at airports and have a special card to explain that I am not actually a terrorist. Just a piece of paper…can you imagine popping to American and trying to explain to them they just need to ring the hospital and they will explain everything. Ill be in an orange jump suit and have a burly ex marine border guard wrist deep inside me before you can say ‘Land of the Free, Mother  fucker!”

Oh, more positives…I will set of a run of the mill Geiger counter. So I will be getting one, just so I can run it over my groin and show how I set it off. Oh and whatever man juice I have will be potentially radioactive for a while. Fucking brilliant! Had I not had a vasectomy I could have made mutant babies.

Anyway, I go in in 2 weeks to get the show on the road…fun times eh!

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Author: Michael

Husband, dad,(ex)programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

12 thoughts on “Morew cancer news”

  2. I really like how you are approaching all of this with such a great sense of humour. I’m sure that I can speak for everyone and wish you all the best and that it all works out for you, thoughts go with you.

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  3. Michael, I believe early on in this prostate cancer journey I told you my boss got the radioactive seeds implanted – that was in 2019 and he is cancer free now, but goes for checkups routinely with his urologist. He went to the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio (next state over from us – Michigan) for the procedure because at the time, there weren’t any big institutions doing this near us. My boss is 76, will be 77 next March. He researched a lot what to do – many of his lawyer friends/clients had prostate cancer … half opted for removal, half for radiation. My boss, as a solo practitioner, did not want to be out of the office for post-surgery recovery and radiation and feeling punk and perhaps unable to work did not go over well either. He had the surgery on a Thursday morning and went home Thursday night. His wife drove – he went back the following Thursday for follow-up and then a year later I believe. He stopped at the office on the way home. He gave me lots of literature to read about it and described the procedure afterwards … sometimes Robb is TMI, but that’s okay, now I can share it with you. I did see he could hold young children in his lap, or a pet, or sleep next to a pregnant woman … this didn’t apply to him at all. Also some restrictions on air travel, but he took a trip at Christmas, just 4-5 weeks later – no issues. My boss swims every morning at a high school pool and during the Summer at a community pool in the neighborhood and likes to work out and in the Summer often rides to/from the office or around a big park nearby (25 miles altogether). He was worried he could not stay active. I remember him talking to me on the phone and he’d say “make it fast, I gotta pee” and that went on for a while … the urgency, but other than that I don’t recall any other side effects and he shares everything with me. 🙂

    He described the surgery “there I am naked, like a turkey ready to be stuffed and everyone looking at me before they started … no time for modesty.” The check-ups (especially the first one) were to ensure the radiation pellets had not migrated but stayed in place. I think this is a top-notch procedure and less side effects, not as much a PIA as the others. Good luck in this journey Michael. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

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  4. Fun times indeed my friend.
    Sounds a tad hardgoing to be honest but it’s great you have a plan – especially as it involves a cock cup lottery! 🤣

    Chin up lad 🖤🖤🖤

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  10. Sounds like you are choosing the best option. Any cancer treatment comes with sets of rules, endless things to do and not do! Still, it’s amazing the treatments that are on offer and you wonder who was the first person they tried this on! Good luck.

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