There are things that I am good at which I am comfortable with. I do a decent limerick, I”m shit hot with spreadsheets , and I make a bakewell tart so good that you’d likely let me touch you inappropriately just for a slice. I think there are others but thise are the ones that spring to mind.
This though is not about my ability to make Microsoft Excel talk to you and tell you it wants to watch you take a pee.
This is about my inability to fold towels.
Well I can fold them but for the life of me I cannot get any of them the same bastard size. It’s never been something I thought about much, intent as I was in the past to stack them in such a way as to make a pretty pyramid akin to the sort you get if you get a bundle as a gift.
God that’s a depressing thought in itself isn’t it. A gift of towels. Reminds me of the Christmas I found myself disappointed I never got any socks. I died a bit inside that day I tell you.
I am also not talking making towels of vastly differing sizes fold to a similar footprint. That would be stupid. Hmm. I think I’m still pretty crabby about it.
No, thing is Mrs Afterwards has this knack of folding all the varied towels and they all end up beign of a similar size and stack wonderfully and whilst she doesn’t admit it I know she is smug as fuck about it. Well I would be if I had achieved such a feat.
Today I decided I would do the same and it did not go well.
Within ten minutes I happened to call a particularly tricky black bath sheet a bastard in front of the youngest, and followed that up by telling all the fluffy white ones to go screw themselves because even the ones of the same size refused to allow themselves to be folded to the same dimensions.
Eventually I rolled them all up instead like in a hotel but they didn’t fit on the stand in the bathroom so redid them just like one of those lovely stacks you get as a gift from your sister when you move into a new home.
Anyway, I imagine it is something passed down from mother to daughter but there is no way I am asking the missus. I’d rather air dry.
That reminds me, does anyone know how to change a duvet cover. Last time I did one I ended up with a prolapsed sphincter and a dislocated shoulder.
Effing hysterical. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
To change a duvet (we call them doona) cover:
1. take the other one off. Put it in the wash.
2. make sure the clean cover is inside out.
3. Put one hand in each far corner (inside the cover, ensure the cover is inside out).
4. use the same hands that hold the corners to grip one corner each of the doona (check the shape is right – narrow ends are top and bottom, these are the ones you want).
5. stand back so the cover slides down over the doona.
6. Shake and shimmy until the whole cover covers the whole doona.
7. Shake it onto the bed, clip up the hole, and if you’re really, really [I’d say anal, but I do it], put a couple of stitches in each corner of the doona (voila! no more rolling cover! well, mostly).
And now for towels:
1. Fold towel in half, short ends together.
2. Fold again, so it’s now a double fold over the previous fold (it’s the same fold and direction as the one above).
3. Fold each (new) short end in one third
4. There you have it, from a person who worked in a residential hotel through uni.
5. It’s also quick.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re not on your own with the towels 😉 As for the duvet cover… I’m five foot nothing. My son has a super kingsize bed and even bugger duvet… I’ve camped in smaller tents. You can imagine the language when I have to change that…
This, however, works 😉 https://youtu.be/DRPfudNNd8Y
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol right tomorrow I’m gonna redo my towels…
And buyt some new blankets 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ill let u know how i get on 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I actually like to fold them as such: hold towel by short end against chest. Fold right side in by one third. Fold left side in by one third. It’s now very narrow with a trifold. Now fold it into half long ways, and then in half again. I think they look very nice this way. 🤨
LikeLiked by 1 person
ha! i’ve given up on folding & just directly throw them on the floor as that is where the minions eventually decide is the appropriate place for towels.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha ha – loved this – I am not good at most domestic things- I think domestic totally skipped a generation!
LikeLiked by 1 person
it’s not for everyone 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂 May your towel folding endeavours be always symmetrical
LikeLiked by 1 person
These things are sent to test us I reckon
LikeLike
I may give it a go sir thank you 🙂
LikeLike
ha well that was why I was folding …theyd taken all the clean ones, used them once and deposited them on the floor. I tell pthem itts never too late for adoption but they dont believe me
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why even fold them? Haha. Not like it matters if they’re wrinkled. I only fold stuff that can’t be wrinkled (ie socks, undies, no way).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mostly my lads prefer piling them up on their bedroom floors 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
And half kill us 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nah, I’m more like you, I roll them instead and I even find that difficult!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Admit it, you just don’t want to fold towels. That’s a woman’s job, right? LOL Funny stuff, Michael 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol noooo…. I just think you all have some sort of secret that you won’t share
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even when you roll them there’s always dangly bits at the end or the middle comes out it’s just ridiculous. Maybe the natural form for a towel is a random pile
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re onto something there. I mostly keep them in a laundry basket, haha. My mom would not be proud! 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed!
LikeLike
Well, if you must know…we do. 😛
LikeLiked by 2 people
🤣😂🤣 Great post Michael!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes U just gotta let it out
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha! sounds like a perfect system
LikeLiked by 1 person
My secret is, none of my towels match, so I don’t have to give a damn whether they align or not. It’s easier to just accept the chaos
LikeLiked by 1 person
Embrace the towl madness!
LikeLiked by 1 person
MUUAAAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I gave up …..rolled towels…..left sheets in laundry bag…..haha lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha seems you’re not alone in that approach
LikeLike