What Teddy saw. 1.

Something a little different. There may be more they may not.

I do not want to do this anymore and am wondering very much if there is a way out.

Whilst I realise it is my lot in life, and with my doleful eyes and thick creamy fur I am perfect for the job, my god you have no idea what it’s like.  If I am lucky then I may get to enjoy a tea party or a picnic with some of the others but for the most part I simply have to sit and watch.

Now Ive seen Toy Story, and I would assure you that despite what you may think there are no playful shenanigans when you leave the room.  I do not get to spoon with Barbie whilst cowboys and astronauts reach for the stars.  Nor are there adventures to be had beyond the toy box.   All we do is watch.   

Now Some of you may be people watchers, and if so then good for you, but just imagine what it is like watching the same people day in day out.  This isn’t some whimsical existence where I can wistfully imagine the life they have from a distance.  No, this is a living hell where I have to witness every awful thing that goes on behind closed doors.

I often wonder which bastard created me because I can’t even close my frigging eyes.

Just yesterday I’d been left on the kitchen side and I had to watch him eating leftovers, straight from the fridge, naked in the middle of the night.  He has an abundance of body hair which in itself is bad enough but what made it extra special was the way he still managed to scratch himself with a chicken drumstick in each hand.  No wonder he spends so much time on the bloody toilet, anus chicken will do that to you every time.

If only I knew how to end it.

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,(ex)programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

33 thoughts on “What Teddy saw. 1.”

  3. Oh, God – run, Teddy, run!
    But Teddy has a role, and it is to not see what shouldn’t be seen, to be the barrier between the scary bad world and the loved person. Teddy has seen more than naked pilferers, but Teddy will never tell – if said pilferer puts Ted in a nice box, lined with velvet, a little cushion for a pillow, a nice warm blanky and popped under the bed, so far under that no hands will reach for it again … deal?

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  16. And we think all teddy bears are sweet and trusting … love that he hates the person who created him with eyes that must stay open all the time. Reminded me a little of the video that was popular about 15 years ago about what your computer icons did after you shut off your computer for the night … everyone was tittering about it … I can’t find it now, but it had been a little sleazy about what icon was doing what with the other ones. I could only find this one about how the icons went to war after you logged off. We had to entertain ourselves back then on Windows XP … it was before social media really took off and all we had was internet and e-mail. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7rIyZYOtg

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  18. I think so too – he can have a recurring role.
    I thought it was funny as well as I collected teddy bears for years. I started with one and people would buy them, I would buy them – they are lined up everywhere. I had to stop getting them and finally did about 10 years ago. When I was a kid I was allergic to stuffed animals, so I could not have them, so I was channeling my young self. 🙂

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  21. Yes, and I had to stop at 50 of them – they were taking over the house and they were not all big ones either. My mother collected ducks – the house is done in colonial theme and a country kitchen … there are duck decoys in resin or wood in every room, ducks pictures on the wall, figurines.

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