You can listen instead of reading if you prefer.
Old Walter McDad finds such joy in the sad
The depressed and the rather quite tragic
He would dance with delight if your shoes were too tight
Spilled your tea on your crotch? Oh quite magic!
Caught your knob in your zip? Caused your foreskin to rip?
He would high five in great celebration
Birth defects? He loves those. Diabetic? Lost toes?
Well to him they’re such cause for elation
Enjoys watching the poor, mocks the sick and what’s more
Steals the cash from the tramps at the station.
Takes a dump on your lawn, tells your kids to watch porn
Big wide grin at your grandma’s cremation
Fingers crossed at the vets they declare that your pets
need to be put to sleep with much haste
Phone the docs and the answer is that you have cancer
He’d take joy, he knows its in poor taste
For Walt spends all his days in such terrible ways
Don’t ask why he just does ‘cos he can
At a hundred and one he’d still rodger your mum
He’s a rather quite nasty old man
So watch out and beware at the top of the stair
As he’d gladly push you in the back
You go head over tit and he’d chuckle and sit
Watch you bleed as he enjoys a snack
Yikes, I’ll steer clear of him! : )
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Gotta watch out for old men named Walter! 😈
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I thought probably you’d be the only one who would appreciate my first thoughts with the prompt size:
Just couldn’t let this go by
Today I’ve been less than shy
Contacted a buddy
And conversation was muddy.
He asked if I wanted a drink
Answered well what do you think
Said yes, a large stiff one
I didn’t surmise the meaning or size
But I knew he’d not be surprised
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I hit send before I edited but maybe a good thing…omg
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This is fantastic! I can’t get the sound to play but I think it’s cos I’m on mobile. I’ll try again later on desktop 😁
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I think you need a donut lol 🍩
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Link to sound is broken for me 😒
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mmmm sugar!
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how very curious??
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cheers Ill need to work out why – seems a few have struggled
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lol
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lol indeed 🙂
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Just tried it on desktop and your glorious voice is echoing through my house… so it must just be a problem on the mobile app.
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Aah fabulous I’ll have to see what’s going on with it to be honest I don’t really get it I just posted the link in and it seems to work .
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I had the same problem once when something I shared from Facebook didn’t work properly. It was fine on desktop but not on mobile. I decided I was far too busy (um, and also inept) to work out why so I just gave up 😂
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Ha! No sugar for you! Asparagus, think green!
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Thanks 🙂
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Woohoo
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You sound so excited…
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Ha its as good a reason as any..
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Lol yeah
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The link works for me. So nice to hear your voice Michael. It is exactly how I imagined it. Lovely.
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Thanks 🙂
I’ve tried embedding it a different way in today’s one going up later so fingers crossed..
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I’ll have a look later then.
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This was great. Once again loved to hear you recite it!
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Cheers Leigha. I am enjoying them i must say…
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Do you have trouble doing these without laughing?
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I normally have a giggle when I write them that’s how I know some of them are funny if they make me laugh because I’m not much of a laughter
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I would never be able to read something so funny and not start laughing… keep reading them and I’ll laugh enough for the two of us!
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