NRA says “guns best way to fight guns”

NRA calls for McDOnalds to lead national fight against obesity

Today, the NRA’s Wayne Lapierre hit back at critics who he feels are using the death of countless Americans to guns to deprive him of his second amendment rights to keep a huge stash of assault rifles in the boot of his car just in case things ‘kick off’ next time he goes to Walmart.

Speaking to a crowd of conservative Americans he opened with a short prayer where he asked Jesus to “bless this gathering of real Americans, not the ones that look like they need a good wash” and also beseeches his Lord and Saviour to pour out his mercies on the new AR15 model due out next year because it is “Seriously bad ass and will make America both safer and greater.  So safe.  So great”

Lapierre, a previously long standing advocate of “thoughts and prayers” in the fight against school massacres, took a standing ovation when he made an impassioned and  compelling case for the use of guns to prevent the use of guns.

“Murder in schools?” he insisted, “let’s arm teachers.  Murder at Disneyland?  No problem, let’s hook up Mickey with some serious stopping power to stop those dirty lefties.”

In a rousing finale he held a baby in his left arm and in his right hand a bone handled desert eagle, and with an American flag lowered behind him and the star spangled banner playing he slowly licked the barrel and proclaimed “Tastes like freedom baby!”

 

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,(ex)programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

27 thoughts on “NRA says “guns best way to fight guns””

  1. It’s clearly some very sound logic. Everyone knows that the best way to end war is with more war. The best way to end debt is with more debt. And the best way to…oh, hell, you get the idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. NRA and the US Government are really scraping the barrel with that. The fact they are suggesting to arm teachers is almost as bad as suggesting mental health is the issue. Dressing either suggestion as anything else other than trying to create shadows and mirrors to keep focus of the actual issue, ie guns, is just offensive.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Smoke and mirrors all of it, “arm teachers” , “mental health is the issue”. Offensive to suggest these as anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This reads like a goddamn parody! I actually googled the guy because I almost couldn’t believe it was real, but it was. This has to be pure, unadulterated, undiluted pandering, and it’s just disgusting.

    Tastes like freedom? Tastes more like insanity, if you ask me.

    Liked by 3 people

  22. If laws failed failed to protect the students from Cruz, how will a new law? If failure to enforce Florida law re: terroristic verbal threats were not enfirced dozens of times by school, parents, FBI, Facebook, how will the new law be any different? I empathize with you, but am angry with the ability of the system to look the other way on a kid who’s given every warning he’s abt to explode. I used to work w/ juvenile felons. Most had assault w/ a deadly weapon. I assure you they did not care about orocuring their firearm in accordance with MN law. They got a piece from the streets, or stole it from grandpa. None had background checks because they dont care. So, again, how will laws keep law abiding kids from being killed by lawless kids? Thanks!

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  23. I’m with you mate I do think though that America has got itself into a right old mess and I’m not quite sure whether you can ever recover from the decisions that you’ve made. You’re a great nation and have done a lot of fabulous things and you get to live with the repercussions of both the good and the bad now. Donald Trump is currently blaming the video game industry for violence and corrupting children yet the fool fails to recognise that video games are played across the world and theres no evidence that they actually lead to the sort of events that they see in America but America is pretty much the only place where you see the sort of massacres that you guys have every month at least. Guns are the problem and if you didn’t have guns you wouldn’t have the problem. simple

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  24. I guess I see the root cause is a criminal. Secondly, a criminal whose narcisstic grandiosity would push him to post that he”wants to be a professional school shooter” on Facebook. They did nothing. The FBI was alerted 2x abt this kid. Again, no response. He made dozens of verbal terroristic threats, prob a gross misdemeanor in his state(crime). Nothing.
    We have a systemic failure of looking the other way: at crime, guns, mental illness,etc.
    What sucks as an American is that 2 mos ago, the protests by BLM and Antifa were clearly based on not trusting law enforcement. Now, the media is preaching supporting armed guards in schools. America has gone bipolar. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

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