A is for arseholes

Welcome my alphabet of thoughts.

The world is full of them, we all know that. Pompous, annoying and wholly unpleasant individuals who, if you could get away with it or were rather good at fighting, you would happily punch in their man-vagina. Turn around, I bet there is one near you right now.

He’s probably a loud mouth breather or perhaps he’s cooking fish in the office microwave whilst talking loudly about something pointless. I don’t know you or the circles you move in so you may even be in proximity to someone who’s rather fond of molesting prospective actors, some drunk and others not. You might just move in lofty circles indeed and you can see a vagina grabbing orange faced buffoon or a man of god senate elect who’s rather fond of fourteen year olds from where you’re sitting.

The point is they are everywhere.

I say him, it could well be a her, but my experience is that arseholes tend to be primarily male.

Let me give you an example. On the way into work this morning there was a spandex clad one on a bicycle who insisted on weaving dangerously between traffic causing the impatient driver arseholes in their cars to beep, swerve and drive dangerously to pass him almost wiping out one of those dog walking types who probably lets their dog shit everywhere for my kids to step in and drag it into my car making it smell like the bottom of a rottweiler. And exhale…

It really was a veritable cornucopia of arseholes. Unless there is a better collective noun for them. What about ‘a clench’ or perhaps ‘a puckering’.

Anyway, onto my rather laboured point. The world is full of them, in fact we have a glut, so try not to be one today, and I will too.

Tomorrow: B is for balls

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,(ex)programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

31 thoughts on “A is for arseholes”

  3. And it’s one of those songs that is stuck in my head from my teenage years, thanks to my twin brother’s loud music! Why can’t it go away!!😂😩

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Michael, you made me smile with that one. Such people are every where our challenge is trying not to let their actions ruin our day. Make today a good one. The good thing is we can usually spot them a mile away so be vigilant. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. “… a spandex clad one a bicycle who insisted on weaving dangerously between traffic on his bicycle causing the impatient driver arseholes in their cars to beep, swerve and drive dangerously to pass him almost wiping out one of those dog walking types who probably lets their dog shit everywhere for my kids to step in and drag it into my car making it smell like the bottom of a rottweiler.” One of the most entertaining sentences I’ve ever read.

    Liked by 3 people

  30. No reference to your very witty post, but I have you ever wondered why human sexual, body parts which are ether extremely useful and/or a great pleasure, are used to describe human beings, who behave in a ridiculous manner?
    By the way Michael, give up the punctuation thing, it never seems to work anyway. Just relax and continue to produce your excellent writing and innovative thinking. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Thanks 🙂

    I think its a judeo Christian guilt thing where sex is evil so sexual parts are too by association…

    No one was ever called a stupid elbow or a complete and utter lower back 😉

    Like

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